The Real Important Questions

By Rohan Sekar

All the time, people are asking the really unimportant questions, like “Where is it?”, “What’s on the news?” and “When is my job interview?” But not today. Today, I interviewed a group of people on the most pressing questions of today. You’re probably wondering, “What are these questions?”, and that’s a really important one. But let’s cut to the chase. Here they are.

1. Cake or Pie?
2. Is pineapple good on pizzas?
3. Are hot dogs sandwiches?
4. If two mind readers read each other’s minds, whose mind would they be reading?
5. If a person who could see the future and a person who can read minds played a chess game together, who would win?

Now, let’s jump right in!

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Mrs. Nelson

Cake

Yes

Yes

The person who thinks fastest

The mind reader, because our future can change.

Mr. Rodgers

Pie

Yes

No

Seems like an infinite loop. What do you think?

The person that can see the future.

Mr. Rodegerdts

Pie

If it means I don’t have to share the pizza, then yes. Otherwise, no.

Yes

It would mind-melt into a single brain

It’ll be a draw

Mrs. Myrland

Cake

Yes. The more pineapple the better

Yes

Sounds like an “Inception Mind”

They would cancel each other out

Luke Krawczuk, 6th grade

Cake is better than pie

No

No! That’d be like saying toast is a sandwich.

They’re reading each other’s thoughts

The mind reader

Spencer Andrews, 6th grade

Pie

Yes

NO

Each others 

The mind reader

Savannah Pattison Moon, 7th grade

Cake

No

No

Each others?

They wouldn’t win. It would go on forever.

Gavin Kirk, 6 grade

Pie

Relatively, yes

Yes

Both. Or their minds would be consumed into one.

The person who could see the future

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Well, there you have it. The most important questions of today, which, frighteningly, no one is asking. We need to stop this. We need to abolish unimportant questions. And that’s why we need you. You need to run up to the closest person and ask them these questions. The fate of what people ask depends on it.

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Oh yeah, here are some boring stats too.

1. Half of the people I interviewed liked cake better than pie.
2. More people like pineapple on pizza than not.
3. According to this interview, half of the people think hot dogs are sandwiches
4. I can’t really put a percentage on this one…
5. 3 people think that mind readers would win. Same with a draw. Only two people think seeing the future would win